Armie, Channing and the Four-Quadrant Man Problem

armie

It’s not a great weekend to be Armie Hammer. His new film, The Lone Ranger, was DOA at the box office. Worse even, he’s likely to be scapegoated for the failure.

After all, director Gore Verbinski and co-lead Johnny Depp have been bringing in the big bucks for years. It’s not as if their partnership could be going the way of Depp’s partnership with director Tim Burton — no, you can put safe money that Hammer is going to be taking the fall for this one. While that’s disappointing, it was also totally foreseeable.

The problems with The Lone Ranger have been noted sufficiently already — suffice it to say Depp playing a Native American character in a mostly dead property was clearly never going to be a winner. But as scandalous as the Depp cast may have been, it was the choice of Hammer as the titular Ranger that puzzled me most.

Hammer has been in two films of real note: The Social Network, in a supporting role (that he was good in), and Mirror Mirror, which was all sorts of terrible (and he did nothing to save). Giving him his own franchise should have given all the Hollywood executives involved pause. He was an admittedly good-looking guy who has made nothing more than a minor splash at best in his previous work. What did execs see in him?

To be blunt: they saw a man’s man. And Hollywood is convinced it’s short on those.

Simply put, execs are obviously tired of the boyish male stars that dominated the late Aughts. Most big action tentpoles are being given to the same older stars who made their careers on such films, Jason Statham and The Rock being archetypal examples. Even Vin Diesel is bleeding the Fast & Furious franchise dry. Older actors previously unassociated with the action game are even getting into it — coming to theaters near you soon enough, Liam Neeson in Taken 14.

But Hollywood needs younger hypermasculine stars to fill these roles as the current crop gets older. Think about it: Chris Evans and Chris Hemsworth are tied up in being Avengers (Hemsworth also wrapped up in the female-skewing Snow White and the Huntsman frachise) and likely will be for years. Jeremy Renner is too, and he’s also failed at the franchise game already (his Bourne film didn’t exactly hold up to the titular Legacy). And while Chris Pine might do fine work in his own franchise, he’s never managed to truly break out.

So Hammer was chosen to fill that “four-quadrant man” role: the type of action star who can headline a big franchise and be a romantic lead, too. On that, look no further than his sex-obsessed interview with Playboy, where he couldn’t stop talking about all his inventive lovemaking with his wife. That was such a bizarre move — off-putting for its bluntness and his unattainablity alike — that I’m convinced it was a miscalculation on his publicist’s part in an attempt to make him a sex symbol.

Hammer’s quick falter is likely tremendously disappointing for execs, especially considering their wunderkind, Channing Tatum, was proven mortal last weekend when his White House Down opened to considerably less than expected. (It opened behind the female-driven The Heat, but of course, absolutely no one in Hollywood will pay attention to that lesson.)

None of this is fresh analysis — I’m just restating what has clearly been an issue for a while. But here’s a newer question: Why are execs so obsessed with recapturing the past?

There is nothing wrong with the boyish male star-dominated Hollywood. Arguably, that system works more effectively than the antiquated “four-quadrant man” strategy. Look at successes like this summer’s Now You See Me — a surprise hit by anyone’s definition. Sure, it may not have been marketed solely on the strength of star Jesse Eisenberg, but he’s prominent in ads, and it’s working. Or look at smaller movies like Juno (starring Michael Cera) or The Social Network (with Eisenberg and Andrew Garfield), which made big grosses on the back of great talent. The latter even got Garfield a superhero franchise — though how good he is as The Amazing Spider-Man is a different conversation entirely.

Visit any collegiate theatre arts program today, and you’ll notice that they’re not stacked with the next Tatums. Far from it — these are the next Garfields, the next Eisenbergs, the next Tellers. Hell, the next Neil Patrick Harris is out there, and his lack of success on the big screen isn’t due to a lack of charm or fanbase.

On Harris in particular: there’s another component worth its own blog post, and that’s Hollywood’s continued discomfort with gay leading men. Consider the strange recloseting of Luke Evans when he was promoting The Three Musketeers. Or the brazen rewriting of Tom Hardy’s history of having sex with men. As stated, this is all worth its own post, but it’s just food for thought as to how it relates to the greater theme that Hollywood thinks men must be traditionally masculine to be a star.

Regardless of all this, Hammer and, to a lesser extent, Tatum, may not be filling their potential up to Hollywood’s ridiculously high standard, but don’t expect them to stop getting cast. Execs have clearly made an investment, and they’re sticking with their new golden men — no matter how tarnished that gold may be, or how ineffective the strategy is.

Follow Kevin on Twitter at @kevinpokeeffe.

Teen Wolf Gives ‘Gay-Friendly’ a Furry Face

No show makes me feel so absurd by loving it than Teen Wolf does. A wall-to-wall celebration of beefcake, melodrama and more supernatural than I’ve ever wanted in a TV show, the MTV series based off the Michael J. Fox ’80s flick is made for GIF walls and Tumblr shrines – not usually my deal.

But what started as a guilty pleasure (and thanks to many critics comparing it favorably to another great MTV show, Awkward) has ended up with me obsessively keeping up with teenaged lycanthrope Scott McCall (Tyler Posey) and his merry band of fellow friends and wolves completely guilt-free. And all of it is owed to one man: Creator Jeff Davis, who has cultivated the gay-friendliest show on television.

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Acceptance in sports: Not quite there yet

Photo Credit: Associated Press

Photo Credit: Associated Press

Originally published in the Los Angeles Loyolan. For original, please refer to: Acceptance in sports: Not quite there yet – Los Angeles Loyolan.

In a country that once embraced gay-bashing and made bullying based on sexual orientation popular, it’s hard not to be proud of the recent swell of support for LGBT individuals in this country. Marriage equality is a cultural buzz phrase. The promise of the It Gets Better campaign seems to be coming true for so many young people growing into strong, confident individuals. And in the world of professional sports, NFL players are supposedly considering coming out.

Except, maybe they aren’t.

Former Baltimore Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo, long on record as a marriage equality proponent, told the Baltimore Sun last week that he knew of “up to four players” in the NFL who were in talks to come out together.

“It would make a major splash and take the pressure off one guy,” he said. “It would be a monumental day if a handful or a few guys come out.”

An announcement like this was guaranteed to make waves and have LGBT advocates hopeful for real change. So of course, it took all of one day before Ayanbadejo started retracting his statement.

“Potentially, it’s possible, it’s fathomable, that they could possibly do something together, and break a story together,” he told Anderson Cooper on CNN. “And one of them had voiced that he would like to break his story with someone else and not do it alone. … Not all these athletes are in the NFL. Some are in other sports as well.”

He might as well have said, “Hey, so everything I said yesterday? Forget about it. Never mind. My bad.”

Such developments are disheartening, particularly when the world of professional sports could really use a big push forward on the path to acceptance.

Boston University Professor Robert Volk once called professional sports “the last bastion of homophobia.” While I think that’s inaccurate (I’m pretty sure Virginia, which recently passed the Crimes Against Nature law banning sodomy, has “last bastion” status locked down), it does reflect an ugly truth about the heteronormative culture of sports: Things aren’t changing as briskly as it may seem.

Yes, there are allies like Ayanbadejo and Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe petitioning publicly for equal rights. And yes, there are plenty of teams, like the Boston Red Sox and the San Francisco Giants, that made It Gets Better videos to support victims of bullying due to LGBT status. But right now, all this amounts to is a more supportive public face. This begs the question: If this environment is so supportive, then why are gay players not coming out of the nearest closet they find?

The truth is that all the ‘It Gets Better’ messages in the world can’t take gay slurs out of locker rooms in a flash. The Ayanbadejos and Kluwes are incredible allies, but they are two men out of almost 2,000 in the NFL alone. Equality and acceptance are trending topics, but behind the curtain, we have no idea how well these values are truly espoused.

Athletes and pundits need to stop pretending everything is resolved already or engage in wishful thinking about groups of athletes about to come out of the closet. Instead, they should focus on tangible goals that will go a long way to creating the equal culture they so desperately want to believe is already here.In fact, professional sports figures would do well to pay attention to their college brethren. The NCAA took major steps forward with the release of “Champions of Respect,” its guide for creating a more accepting climate for LGBT individuals.

The guide is full of instructions and guidelines for working with LGBT athletes and coaches, it offers great suggestions for coaches and athletes, including educating themselves about LGBT issues in sports and monitoring the use of anti-gay slurs. These things may seem elementary to you and me, but for a culture that has long suffered from these issues, they really aren’t. If the guide is effectively implemented, it could signal real change in the college sports climate.

I get it, I really do: Equal rights for LGBT individuals are having a moment. I’m absolutely thrilled. The idea that we could see major steps forward on marriage equality as early as June is stunning to someone like me, a Texan kid who grew up wondering if there was anyone who understood how he really felt and would stand up for him. But attempting to catch up to the cultural trend in one fell swoop without going through the proper steps isn’t going to work. Equality is most effective when everyone understands not only the what, but the why.

Four professional athletes coming out together is an incredible idea, and one that, if it ever came to pass, would inspire so many LGBT individuals playing sports. But creating false hope, which I’m sure was not Ayanbadejo’s intention, doesn’t inspire, and it doesn’t really help create acceptance. Because the sports world isn’t there yet.

Pope’s resignation: Opportunity for change

Photo Credit: Associated Press

Photo Credit: Associated Press

Originally published in the Los Angeles Loyolan. For original, please refer to: Pope’s resignation: Opportunity for change– Los Angeles Loyolan.

Change can be a good thing, but how can you say that when the supposed reason for the change is anything but good?

It’s pretty grim to celebrate someone’s allegedly poor health, but Monday’s announcement that Pope Benedict XVI is stepping down from his position – the first such resignation in almost 600 years, according to the article “University reacts to the Pope’s resignation” appearing on Page 1 of this issue – isn’t what I’d call “bad news.”

It’s the perfect time for major transition and progression for the often socially conservative Roman Catholic Church, which is, in my opinion, quickly losing touch with young people like myself. Many in my demographic were baptized Catholic, myself included, but quickly became disillusioned with the Church’s outmoded teachings on the role of women in the church and, especially in my case, homosexuality.

The former Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger took his place as the head of the Church in 2005 after the death of Pope John Paul II, and since then has managed to remain frighteningly stagnant on social issues, particularly about gay men and women and their relationship to the Church. As recently as last Christmas, according to theHuffington Post article “Pope Benedict Takes Anti-Gay Marriage To New Level In Christmas Speech On Family Values,” Pope Benedict XVI called homosexuality a “manipulation of nature.”

“People dispute the idea that they have a nature, given to them by their bodily identity, that serves as a defining element of the human being,” Pope Benedict XVI continued. “They deny their nature and decide that it is not something previously given to them, but that they make it for themselves.”

For the patriarch of a multinational organization to say something so startlingly archaic is, in my opinion, a sign that the Church itself is completely behind the times for most of the Western world. Additionally, there’s Pope Benedict XVI’s inactivity in properly responding to the Church’s sex abuse scandals. According to the Guardian article “Pope Benedict ‘complicit in child sex abuse scandals’, say victims’ groups,” the Survivors’ Network of those Abused by Priests (SNAP) considers the pope’s lack of transparency about sexual abuse by clergymen to be “terrible.”

The general accusation against Pope Benedict XVI, according to the same article, is that despite his knowledge of clerical sex abuses, he has, for the most part, done little to respond to them. As the article quotes SNAP Executive Director David Clohessy as saying, “He knows more about clergy sex crimes and cover-ups than anyone else in the Church, yet he has done precious little to protect children.”

Though all the details in those cases are still being scrutinized, there’s no doubt in my mind that it is all yet another sign that the Catholic Church needs to become more progressive and more transparent. While the Catholic Church is proud of its traditions, they won’t mean much if membership in the Church dwindles – and according to the Slate article “He Didn’t Finish What He Started,” that’s exactly what’s happening.

In my opinion, the Church is in a position to make the biggest sweeping reform since the Second Vatican Council started in 1962. Vatican II changed the spoken language of the Mass from Latin to a colloquial tongue as part of an attempt to make the Church less imposing and more a part of traditional family life. However, it could be argued (as the aformentioned Slate article does) that it wasn’t enough to keep younger people involved. A more drastic shift in the Church could occur should a more progressive figure become pope, wherein things like homosexuality would be brought into a more contemporary context.

However, I’d bet that’s not going to happen. In January of this year, according to the Reuters article “Pope Benedict names new cardinals who’ll choose successor, mostly Europeans,” the retiring patriarch named an additional 18 conservative European cardinals who will participate in the papal election process. This decision raised the number of Europeans among the 125 cardinal electors to 67. This means that instead of a more diverse choice from another continent, we’re likely to see yet another conservative European.

Still, if I could implore the Catholic Church to do one thing, it would be this: Consider Pope Benedict XVI’s resignation as an opportunity to appoint someone new and different. Progress as an organization. Move beyond where you were and into present day.

The Church is quickly losing touch with our generation, and things aren’t going to get any better if the next pope stays the course. This is a changing world, and now is the time to move along with it.

A different kind of Valentine

Originally published in the Los Angeles Loyolan. For original, please refer to: A different kind of Valentine – Los Angeles Loyolan.

Having a tough time finding that ‘perfect someone’ this Valentine’s Day? Bored with the ‘same old same old’? Do you feel like the opposite sex just isn’t cutting it anymore?

This Valentine’s Day, I challenge all straight-identifying, single Lions to try something new: experiment with the same sex. Sure, you may have never thought about it before, and it might not be your cup of tea. But maybe, just maybe, the idea has been there for a while, gestating in the back of your mind. You might be a lady harboring a girl crush on Mila Kunis. Or, maybe you’re a bro who secretly loves Ryan Gosling movies – or just Ryan Gosling.

Regardless of your past relationships, there’s no better time than now to shed your inhibitions and give experimentation a shot. Here are my top tips for all you single ladies and gents who are just a little bi-curious.

1. Don’t restrict yourself to experimenting at LMU.

Take it from a guy who’s attempted to date among the approximately six openly gay men on our little campus: You’re better off away from the bluff. If you’re of drinking age, heading to the bars around UCLA and USC can reap some long-term rewards.

Then again, if you’re bar hopping and only queer for the evening, why on earth are you wasting your time anywhere besides West Hollywood? Eleven, Micky’s and Gym Sportsbar are all distinctly different but great bars with different styles, meaning curious guys will be able to survey several different flavors of dude.

Ladies, your bar options are unfortunately slimmer, but you can try out the Palms Bar for an all-lesbian experience. Then again, girls can also go to pretty much any non-gay bar and find at least a dozen drunk women looking to get Sapphic. Y’all will be fine.

2. Master the eye language.

Despite what you might think, not every homosexual is trying to get into your pants. So, you’ll have to learn the lingo, but lucky for you, it’s all in the eyes.

Ladies, I unfortunately can’t speak to this as well for you as I can for men, but the biggest tip I can give is to never approach someone before locking eyes across the room. Why? It’s actually universal to all sexualities: Think about if someone you weren’t interested in was trying to make eye contact with you. What would you do? That’s right, you’d turn away. So, if the eye contact sticks, that’s your signal to dive in. Don’t worry about the chase – if you’ve kept up eye contact, he or she is definitely interested. Go for the gold.

3. Above all else, have an open mind.

Like I said, experimenting isn’t for everyone. Some people just aren’t into it. For others, it requires an openness that can be difficult to muster. But if you’re interested in trying things out, make sure to really commit to it. Flirt it up and have a good time. Worst-case scenario, you wake up in the morning and think, “Well, never doing that again.” At least you tried something different. And maybe, just maybe, you wake up with the number of someone wonderful you might never have expected to date. That’s the kind of dream most people would kill for on Valentine’s Day.